General overview of how to implement it

The key point occurs between adversity and belief. When you encounter adversity, how you tend to explain it to yourself directly impacts your mindset and your relationships. Seligman calls this your “explanatory style,” and he says that it is a habit that influences your entire outlook on life.

There are three dimensions to your explanatory style:

1.Permanence

Pessimistic people unconsciously assume that the causes of bad events are permanent, while optimists believe that bad events are temporary.

For instance, imagine you had a bad day and had no time to help a colleague who needed your expertise. A pessimist might think, “I should never be friends with anyone at work because I’m a terrible friend.” An optimist might think, “I was a terrible friend today.”

The difference is subtle, but it really matters for your outlook!

2. Pervasiveness

Pessimists make universal statements about their lives when something goes badly, while optimists make specific statements.

For instance, a pessimist might think, “All my reports are useless.” An optimist might think, “This report was useless.”

Again, the difference is subtle. Pessimists take one negative event and allow it to turn their entire work, or life, into a catastrophe. Optimists recognize that they might have failed in one area, but they don’t allow that failure to overwhelm other parts of their lives.

3. Personalization

When we experience a negative event, we have two ways to think about it. We can blame ourselves for the event (internalizing it). Or, we can blame something outside ourselves (externalizing it).

Pessimists often internalize blame. They think, “This is all my fault,” or “I’m too dumb to do this job.” Optimists have higher self-esteem because they tend to externalize blame, thinking, “This is all John’s fault,” or “I haven’t learnt enough about this skill yet; that’s why I’m not doing well at this task.”